i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
