I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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