He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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