i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
