haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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