3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
