check it out our google latitudes are spooning
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
