watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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