my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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