??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
4 words: hood of his car
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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