i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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