Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
did i walk over a car last night?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
