last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
