somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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