I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize