There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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