i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
