if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
