he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
