I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
