There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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