Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
