I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
