god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am full of burrito and curiosity
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
