We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
