they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
