Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Did I show you my penis last night?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
