Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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