I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
