4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just invented taco cereal.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize