dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
