My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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