It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i think i just lost a toe
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