Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
