Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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