Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
the raccoons are back...
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