found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
is that a dick in a sweater?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
