i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
