I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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