I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
