Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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