if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
