just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
