my sisters under your porch take her home
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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