Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
