isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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