there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
how does that bad decision feel?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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