this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
