Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
