The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Come on in and take your pants off
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