do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
