I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize