Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
