Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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