She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
