I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
