it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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