so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
